And asexuals are more likely than sexual people to stay single, he says, 'but some asexual people may still have nonsexual love or romantic bonds with partners’.
What is often hardest for 'sexuals’ to get their heads around is that this is not the same as sexual dysfunction or celibacy. 'Some asexuals do not have any masturbation experiences, and perhaps very little arousal experience. But some asexuals have arousal experiences and do masturbate.
A recent date 'ended awfully when I told him that I was asexual’. '“You’ll grow out of it, it’s just a hormonal thing, you never know until you try, how do you know, you just haven’t found what you like yet…” are all very common things to be told.’ When you’re over 60 and still being told you just haven’t met the right person, it’s more annoying, of course.
She explains: 'Holding hands is as far as I would ever take anything. 'I let it slip one time at work that I’m an asexual aromantic [an asexual who is also not interested in making romantic attachments], and they think it’s absolutely hysterical,’ says Jean Wilson, a sales assistant and 63-year-old grandmother from Banbury.
Today, she sleeps with her husband every fortnight to keep him satisfied.I did go on to Friends Reunited thinking once a bloke gets to 65, that’ll be it, we can just be friends. 'If someone is not distressed by their asexuality then, no, I don’t think it is a disorder.Someone can be healthy and happy as an asexual person.’ It can be stressful, though, to be in a sexual/asexual relationship.For Anwen Hayward, a 20-year-old student at Aberystwyth University, it was when her twin sister got her first boyfriend at 17 that she thought, 'Hang on, I’m a bit different here.’ She explains: 'When you’re in school and university, everyone’s really focused on relationships.
I never wanted that at all.’ At first she thought she was a slow developer, or a lesbian, but then she heard about the global online community for asexuality, AVEN (the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network).
She had come across a newspaper article about asexuality, which led her, in turn, to AVEN.